Some people who “made it” don’t just change, they turn cold in a way that feels personal. One day they’re relatable, struggling like everyone else, talking about goals and pressure and how hard life is. Then suddenly they get a little money, attention, or status, and it’s like their whole personality gets replaced. They start acting like they’ve always been better than everyone around them. They don’t speak with the same respect, they don’t listen the same, and they don’t move like they remember what it feels like to be trying your hardest with nothing to show yet. It’s not just that they grew, it’s that they started looking at people still building their lives like they’re losers for even being in that stage.
A big reason they become cold is because they want to feel untouchable. When they were struggling, they probably felt powerless, insecure, and ignored. People didn’t take them serious, didn’t care about their ideas, didn’t give them chances. So when they finally “win,” they don’t just enjoy it, they use it like a weapon. They make sure everyone can feel the difference between them and the people who haven’t made it yet. They start acting like they’re too busy, too important, too advanced for normal conversations. They treat basic kindness like it’s beneath them because in their mind, being kind feels like going back to being the person nobody respected.
What’s worse is that some of them start acting like struggling is a choice. They talk like if you’re still working a regular job, still trying to build something, still figuring life out, then you must be lazy or not hungry enough. They ignore real life problems like family stress, bills, mental pressure, bad luck, and the fact that not everyone gets the same chances. They love saying things like “I did it with no help,” but that’s usually not even true. Most people who succeed had some kind of break, even if it was small. But once they feel successful, they rewrite history and make it look like pure hard work brought them here, so they can blame everyone else for not being at the same level.
A lot of people who made it also become cold because they don’t want to be reminded of how close they were to failing. That’s why they can’t be around people who are still trying. Seeing someone else in the struggle brings back memories of being broke, desperate, doubting yourself, and feeling behind. Instead of handling that discomfort like an adult, they turn arrogant. They act like the struggle is embarrassing, like being hungry for a better life is something to laugh at. They don’t want to admit that they were once in the same position, so they pretend they’ve always been ahead, like they were born to win and everyone else is just weak.
The truth is, some people don’t get confidence from success, they get ego. There’s a difference. Confidence is quiet, it doesn’t need to disrespect anybody. Ego needs someone to step on. Ego needs an audience. Ego needs to make somebody feel small so it can feel big. That’s why they start talking down on people who are trying their heart out. They’ll call your dreams unrealistic, your work pointless, your progress slow. Not because you’re doing something wrong, but because they like the power of acting like they know everything now. They want to feel like a judge, not a person who simply got ahead.
Another reason they become cold is because success makes them selfish, and then they start calling it “boundaries.” Real boundaries are healthy. But some people use that word to cover up their bad attitude. They stop answering people, stop showing love, stop being supportive, and then they act like that’s maturity. They start believing everyone is beneath them and every conversation is a waste of time unless it benefits them. They act like they’re too valuable to care about anybody else. They don’t just protect their peace, they protect their ego, and they do it by acting like other people are annoying for even existing around them.
The sad part is that many of these people still have the same insecurities they had before. They just hide it behind expensive things and a stronger voice. Deep inside, they’re still scared of not being enough, so they overcompensate by acting superior. That’s why they get irritated when they see someone trying with pure heart. Because effort reminds them that success can disappear. Effort reminds them that life is unstable. Effort reminds them that anybody can be up today and down tomorrow. So instead of respecting the grind, they disrespect it, because it makes them feel safer to believe they’re just better than everyone else.
People who look down on others for trying usually forget one thing: they didn’t start on top. They just got lucky enough to climb out. And instead of turning around and having basic respect for the ones still climbing, they act like the ladder should be kicked down behind them. They don’t want others to make it because it threatens their identity. If everybody wins, they’re not special anymore. So they keep their circle small, their heart colder, and their attitude sharp, because it helps them feel like their success is rare, even if it’s mostly timing, connections, or one opportunity that changed everything.
Being someone who’s still trying is already hard. You’re fighting doubt, pressure, and the fear of wasting your time. So when someone who made it talks down on you, it can mess with your confidence. But honestly, their coldness isn’t proof that you’re failing, it’s proof that they’re not as strong as they act. A person who truly grew doesn’t need to belittle people. Only insecure winners act like that. They use success as a mask to hide the fact that they’re still bitter, still angry, and still full of the same emotional mess they had before. They just have nicer shoes now.
And the real truth is this: some people don’t become cold because life made them that way. They become cold because they finally got the chance to treat people how they always wanted to. When they were struggling, they had to be polite. They had to be humble. They had to be approachable. But once they “make it,” their real personality shows up. The entitlement comes out. The disrespect comes out. The judgment comes out. They start acting like everyone else is beneath them because in their head, being above others is the whole point of success. Not peace. Not freedom. Not growth. Just being able to look down.
